Kryx

2012-02-04T21:09:00.000+08:00

Im so bored that I could use a friend right now.

woof~

ok im so nuts already.

Human has limits, We can only break them with GOD.

2012-01-24T18:27:00.000+08:00

random thoughts- CNY day 2

2012-01-24T13:29:00.004+08:00

I had MOAR SUGARR this morning.

If ya know wad i meant...

Im expectin my dad's friend to visit anytime by now

They're Malays and Im glad.

coz we are one of the very few Chinese families who doesnt cook pork or buy them.

Yea, my mum hates pork A LOT.

I sure hope they'll enjoy the cakes and cookies made by ourselves

and say smth good.

After all, Malays are always great with pastry, especially the LEGENDARY kek lapis!

The dogs arent a big issue since I will keep them in my room.

My dad promised to bring us out visiting after serving our guests.

I really want to go but again, CAR's an issue.

Id rather follow my mum's car if tats the case.

Actually I hate going altogether.

I like it better if it were just 2 , 3 of us.

Oh crap, I think i have to clean the floor again.

-The earnest housekeeper.

First day of Chinese New Year

2012-01-23T23:50:00.002+08:00

It was a long 3 hour trip to Engkilili

but this time it felt fast

coz I WAS WITH AUNT's family!

my family abandoned me...

OH SILLY,OF COZ NO!

my car didnt have enough seat so I volunteered to join Aunt's car

How kind of me...

duh, I actually just hated fighting with my brothers and father in the car

They can be SUPER ANNOYING

This year not many family members returned

but it was ok

i helped out at the kitchen

and was being yelled by mum

dont ask me why

she just likes yelling at me

Sadistic enough?

She also likes me yelling at her

At least she's not a persistent as my dad, whom he prefer to describe as PERSEVERE

Im like WTF! TMD like dat oso can

He;s the type who cant read your signal when u obviously say

"DUN COME NEAR OR TALK TO ME"

Guess im a bit like both huh?

Wants attention but Hate it at the same time

On my way back, I tagged along Aunty and her in law to visit her In-Laws!

$$EXTRA ANGPAUS$$

who wouldnt be happy?

I was expecting it but i got it

This is why I like CNY

even if it's fake (OR NOT)courtesy,

at least ppl r sincere to give money away.

and that's the spirit of giving

2012-01-21T23:35:00.002+08:00

Chinese New Year is so near

and Im still cleaning my house.

yea, we're pretty much last minute.

and man, do I smell like shit now?

Yea, srsly smell like longkang now.

I lashed out again.

SHIT

im being such a mad dog.

my mom's my victim again

but im glad it was her

coz we understand each other

and I know she'll lash out at me again one day

and Im sure I wont mind

BUT im also sure at some point we will be sick of each other's crazyness

like what happens once in a while

Hey, nothing's perfect okay?

I hope my soulmate or whosoever God's preparing for me is as understanding and tolerable as my mum.

coz im a hell lots of madness, insaneness, emoness and weakness that ANYONE can handle.

Sometimes I even wonder why God is still holding onto me, never giving up on me.

I know Im not DOWN now, but I just wan to remind whosoever is down out there,

that God will give you someone who understands you.

Don't worry

It could be a dog,

it could be a guy,

it could be a friend,

it could be an idol (I SURE HOPE YEA)

it could be , anything that makes you loved and love others.

Have a great CNY ppl!

When you are angry, do not sin

2012-01-17T13:31:00.002+08:00

Tats wad the Lord said.

did you know?

It's so hard to follow

at many times I failed

miserably...

today I guess I suceeded

but instead

I took all the shit inside mysELF

and it doesnt' feels good

it makes me feel like im a piece of shit

no worth

no value

then all the negative thoughts came

what was i doing

what am i even living for

if i hav no worth

i should throw my anger at someone

yea

or else im being eaten slowly by the devil from the inside

but then my heart ache

till one of my palm

and I was reminded of Jesus

how he suffered for us

I realised

the pain inside is not for the devil

but for God

If I can't even handle this little pain,

how am I supposed to follow Jesus's footsteps?

Then things got clearer

I hav worth and value.

tats y I feel pain

being degraded, accused

Like any other human,

Im born to love not to hate.

Steins ; Gate

2012-01-15T15:38:00.002+08:00

Its my first Seinen anime so I wasn't used to it at first

The OP sucks badly

and first few episodes seems lack of direction

not to mention how confusing the first ep was

talking about first impressions...

But I was glad I din give up

coz it became so interesting, tense, emotional, complicated and overwhelming that I couldn't stop watching it

Again and again it din fail to amaze me.

Everything felt so real that I started questioning myself.

What if those dreams, fragmented memories are reality but in another world line?

Maybe those de ja vu moments ppl hav is due to this

The feeling that irritates u but u just dunno why and how

Shift in world line?

I wonder...

If this anime has the same level of character design and music quality as Code Geass,

I would say this is better

Not because of the happy ending

but how authentic it is

It has few fan service too

but not as much as the latter

It feels less exaggerated and the dialogues are close to what real life ppl would say

(except for Okarin)

I really hope that the creator would produce more works!

Yakitate!! Japan

2012-01-11T18:01:00.003+08:00

u'll miss out a lot NOT watching this

Breads that can send ppl to heaven, universe and even CHANGE HISTORY

not to forget learning about interesting facts and nutritional values regarding ingredients which most of it YOU DUN EVEN KNOW!

as expected from a Shonen manga winner!

It is truly inspring and filled with unexpected turns of events!

I don use the word TWIST here coz it may sound more serious, smth like Code Geass

it can be very funny sometimes

yet a real tear jerker at other times

The breads and challenges are epicly planned and so is their characters!

they are fantastic

ESPECIALLY Pierrot Bolneze!!!!!

Got TO Love him!

U'll also find quirky and persistent villains like the Kaysers (three weird France brothers)

I had the same reaction as ppl in the anime when they revealed the coat that covered them

and WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT

Samurai Boy would have fallen in love with Miss America and NOT FREAKING CARE THAT HE LOSED?!

The best part is, the normal, plain looking main character-Azuma Kazuma.

the person who invented Japan! (japanese punya PAN which means bread)

most of the time you would make a trollface while watching this,

but I promise you

It is going to be a great adventure.

2012-01-11T18:00:00.000+08:00

HIBIKI TOUYA

PLS COSPLAY AS SHIRAHANE SAN AND BE MINE!

!!!MUAHAHAHA!!!!

The danger of having nothing to do

2012-01-07T10:45:00.003+08:00

When I have nothing to do

I feel like doing smth bad.

which can be very troublesome for ppl who know me.

I will annoy everyone I see

online and offline

I feel like bashing ppl

or else gossiping

WHICH IS WHAT IM NOT SUPPOSED TO DO

then I will say things to ppl without thinking

I do things completely out of impulse, ego and superiority

The complete opposite of docile, humble and rational.

I guess in a way that makes me miserable for a while.

Only God knows how boredom and frustration of staying at home can kill me as a good person

and turn me into a total bitch that goes around hurting ppl.

What am I if not introvert yet extrovert?

It's kind of good.

Means I can handle one but prefer the other, and can be switched like vice versa.

Flexibility I assume?

Tried to draw but nth good came out of it.

just sketched a girl with rough, messy hair, wearing an armor, laying one hand on her sword and another trying to let go of a chained hand of WHO KNOWS WHO IS IT?!

i sense pretty heavy influence from Saber here...

Dear boredom, whatever u do, do not lure me into slandering @ talking bad about ppl.

FML =="

The Girl and the Scumbag

2012-01-06T10:30:00.003+08:00

Recently there's been news about a girl who's MIA after the flood incident at my hometown.

and here comes this guy on FB expressing his frustration about how stupid postson praying for her survival is, how futile and etc.

He went too far by joking about how stupid she was and you know wat happened nex...

There's an anti-scumbag page for him!

I dunno what to say actually

but I feel that he is SUCH a miserable person.

don't you agree?

He's SO MISERABLE that he can't stand ppl praying.

not believing in prayers in one thing, bashing at ppl praying is another thing.

yea, he's an atheist.

it gives u the right to comment about other religions and why you don't like them

but not rejoicing in ppl's death!

What more to say when it's just a girl u DUN EVEN KNOW?!

okay, maybe he knew her, maybe she dumped him. I DUNNO

but I do know for sure that he's so miserable I dont wanna curse him.

he's like appearing on the right time to distract ppl's prayer

he's not the devil

it's more like the devil is pulling some strings.

so that ppl would hate him instead of focusing on hoping for the girl's survival.

quite unbelievable rite?

but this is what I believe.

If this happened few years ago, i might have go "yea, fuck that bastard, die! die!"

but this is now, I seriously don't want or at least try not to curse other ppl

coz everyone is God's child.

It's already inevitable that we will dislike some ppl,

think they're not cool,

not worthy of our respect and stuffs,

so why make things worst?

Don't tend to hate ppl when they disgust you, Don't tend to please everyone when they do not accept you.

This is my resolution for life.

Correction: Her body is found. Pls rest in peace. Give her family strength pls My Lord.

Extra thoughts

2012-01-04T00:08:00.002+08:00

Dunno if you have noticed

im pretty vain

yea

Im actually a very vain person

I mean I do hav times where i feel insecure

but ive been getting more and more confident these days

perhaps it's God's blessing?

and my own will?

i dunno abt u ppl out there

but everytime I take a selca shot,

I go "Woo, I must do my best!"

to what? u ask?

TO IMPRESS MYSELF LATER

u must be tinking

THIS GIRL IS SICK

ill tell u why im not

its not wrong being vain

it just means you dare to see yourself in your phone/camera

it just means you admit to the world you like looking good

it just means you love yourself enough to showcase yourself

whats wrong?

it's like building up your confidence

Ganguro girls use makeup to do so

Sporty girls must have sneakers to do so

Hip Hop girls need the coolest hoodie to do so

it's just a different method

it all means the same

you care about your appearance

you love it when it improves

you tell the mirror in your mind "Im sexy and I know it"

you look at your selca and say "damn, the camera loves me"

you stare at your fair skin and think "man, the light loves my face so much"

That's how it works if you want to boost your self-esteem

being vain in your very own way!

like gaga said, DONT BE A DRAG, BE A QUEEN

So be it, be THE queen you wanna be

or even King!

The truth is, the video below urged me to post this.

My personal opinion is

Who says you cant dress yourself just because you dont hav a boyfriend?

Who says just because you cant dress yourself, you don hav a bf?

Whoever really said it, SPIT ON THEIR SHITTY FACE, AND TELL EM "FUCK YOU!"

coz it just doesnt rock that way.

And THIS GUY, LUAN will tell u why..........

Big Lenses, Small Eyes?

2012-01-03T23:27:00.004+08:00

With considerable advise and encouragement from my friends,

I bought Freshkon Alluring Eyes Contact Lenses!

it's a little tiny bit uncomfortable since it's the first time trying it on

but it actually does enlarges my eye a bit.

Ill bring it for a 'test drive' tomorrow

lets say 4 hours?

hope my friends wont be shocked!

Added some eye make-up

Forgive me coz im still a newbie.

draw till i look like cat ki. Haha

There's one side effect of long term wearing this stuff though

since its diameter is larger than normal ones

it prevents oxygen from entering your eye

making it dehydrated or uncomfortable n etc.

It's like cosmetic

Once it cause discomfort, we should stop using it.

after all, Health is more important than looks.

Weight

2012-01-02T20:00:00.004+08:00

Okay

To all YOUNG PEOPLE OUT THERE

doesnt matter you're a girl or guy

LISTEN

Don't lost weight for the wrong reasons.

Mark my words.

If you lose it JUST because you want to look good in pictures.

Then you better DONT DO IT

You can google Anna Tsuchiya and read her wiki

Malnourishment is not funny

So is dehydrating,

anorexia and bullimia

I know i know

everyone wants to have bamboo like bodies like Jessica (SNSD) or super models in America Next Top Model

but you know what?

Unless you have high metabolism that is like a monster/Emi Suzuki,

DREAM ON!

Emi Suzuki is famous for her ultra high metabolism rate,

enabling her to eat so much but still not gain weight

if you're not one of ppl like her, dont even think of having bamboo

another thing, do you notice what these people have in common?

They are celebrities.

They have the resources and time

DO YOU HAV EM? HAR

You aint have money to employ personal trainer

what more to say nutritionist?

and all the supplements?

You're just another person who stays behind the stage and screen, like me

so don expect to have THEIR bodies

BTW, in Jessica's case,

she's had personal trainer since very young, like her sister Krystal too

she probably had Bamboo-like body frame in her family, i dunno.

so my FIRST POINT IS,

DONT DREAM ON HAVIN BAMBOO BODY UNLESS YOU'RE BORN WITH IT/GENETICS

LOVE YOURSELF MORE THAN OTHERS DO

unless it's for health reasons,

do not i repeat

DO NOT LOSE WEIGHT TO SATISFY OTHER PEOPLE

it'll make you succumb to people's insult and demands which is not worth it

Anna Tsuchiya suffered both physically and mentally

when she tried to lose weight to fit in modelling industry

It made her a worse and nasty person during those times.

HAVE CLEAR AND REALISTIC REASONS

for my case, my tummy has been a hassle

it was hard for me to wear tight bottoms which I used to be able to,

especially long ones.

and it made my breathing harder

I don't think Im fat actually

but i feel fat

as in

very BAD fitness level.

Im losing it to improve my strength and stamina I hope.

As long as my BMI is normal

I dont think I will rush into losing weight.

for now, im just embracing hunger at night so that Ill sleep better and give my digetive system less burden.

I do take yoghurt and authentic fruit juices these days.

and avoid my sugary dessert.

it's really not effective in the short run but I hope Ill have better spirit/energy in the future!

extra words for guys out there

maybe you're a skinny guy I dunno

but Ill tell you FUCK YOU

if u want the whole world to be filled with BAMBOO GIRLS

FUCK YOU IN THE FACE

I wont wanna hug a skinny guy nor will i want to hug a skinny girl

and if i were a guy

I DONT WANNA FUCK BOTH SKINNY GUY OR GIRL.

its just my opinion. :)

Sheesh, I dont wanna love someone who dun love themselves enough to malnourish and stay underweight.,,~

ABC

2012-01-02T13:00:00.002+08:00

its' not some lame name for ais kacang or some chinese name

it' ACID.BLACK.CHERRY.

a visual kei band

I came across this band while browsing through top hit songs in the oricon chart before 2011 ended

and Im very pissed at AKB48 using their, sex selling, quantity over quality, lousy but cute dance steps to enhance their sales

oh yea, did i mention dividing them into sub units and making new ones?

how CHEAP is dat.

I bet if i showed Adrian them, he'll say 48 MU GOUS running around doing nth!

IT JUST DOESNT DO JUSTICE TO VISUAL KEI BANDS, BALLAD SOLO SINGERS AND KPOP IDOLS!

JPOP IS RUINED DUE TO THESE GIRLS, AND JOHNNY'S BOYS TOO!

anyway, ABC's [Chou] /Butterfly still got some reasonable ranking

other than its jazzy, sexy feel in the song, (its actually not Jrock, more like Jpop with lil' rock lil' jazz)

It's MV has smth which intrigued me

and so Curious led me to the ultimate indulgement of this song.

When I further searched, I realised it's lyric

is so... how to say...

I CAN RELATE TO IT

if i were a guy

ok I swear IM A GAY GUY TRAPPED IN A GIRL'S BODY

coz i TOTALLY agree with how the singer feels in his lyric!!!

he's 37 or smth, name, Yasu

damn funny guy

awesome part?

His idol is my idol

HYDE

from L~arc en ciel and VAMPS

WE LOVE THE SAME HOTTIE

and I highly suspect that [Chou] was written for HYDE,

or at least in his fantasies. HEHEHE~

and extra VAMPS video

(ohh, the guitarist K.A.Z is kinda hot too)

Work WORK Work, Clean CLEAN Clean.

2011-12-29T12:19:00.001+08:00

been doing housework these days...
(rubs eye)
so dusty.
(coughs)
Welcoming a new year~

My Newfound Hobby!

2011-12-26T16:22:00.003+08:00

MAKE UP!

it's big girl's toy after all.

and its so so so FUN!

its like painting, but on a 3d surface.

Im trying really hard to learn cosplay makeup online these days

It's freaking hard!!! but i don wanna give up

btw, I know tis guy aint cosplaying ma' Shirahane Nanao

but I guess this COULD be how he'll look like in real life.

~H-A-W-T~

control and relationships

2011-12-24T18:34:00.002+08:00

Among friends, or even parents
you can find one trying to control the other,
sometimes both do the same.
Why? I wondered.
simple.
people lack security.
its human nature after all.
so we seek security by making others conform to us,
or conforming to others.
in any way, it means we're controlling someone.
What's the similarity between making your child wear what you like and saying all the child wants to hear everytime when he is down?
You create a need, dependence of the person towards you.

that's what i meant by CONTROL.
it sounds sick doesn't it?
it makes relationships sounds all about ego and power, right?

Thr truth is, as far as i know, no matter how bad it sounds,
it's essential to a relationship.
it makes it WORK.

Do remember,
it's not ALL THE TIME about control.
most of the time,
it's purely love and care
and of course,
God's blessings.

Merry Christmas ppl
This was just a random food for thought.

If Beauty is a Sin, then 花心也无罪！

2011-12-21T19:09:00.003+08:00

It's kind of a recent status I posted on my facebook
Weel here's the story:

"Beauty is a Sin"
a damn famous quote by Kisa Shouta from Sekaiichi,
describing his ever-bling bling, ultimately hot, irresistably beautiful Yukina Kou
(KYAAAAAAA YUKINA!!!!!!!!!)
forgive my fangirling moment here

Anyway
ever since I experienced ANIMAGAKI in SUNWAY,
life became so colourful!
and awesome
took sooo many photos with cosplayers and even got to add them on FB!

I actually admired a guy for his great sense of art
in how he makes up
the way he poses
and his photo shoots!
I mean, I seriously have no problem with guys make up
but I certainly do hope not every guy would be like that or approach that kind of lifestyle
The world needs all kind of ppl u know?

I stalk his profile coz his status can be so funny
cute, adorable and sometimes hilarious
(yea he's the one who posted smth that SHOCKED me)
It's like adding joy to my life ya know?
after all, im born with a hell lot of melancholy.

Recently, as I browse thru the Comic Fiesta photos earnestly!
(SINCE I DIDN"T MAKE IT)
T_T
I found a SMEXY photo of new guy
DAMN IS HE SKINNY
but the fact that he wears that,
and dress like that,
and makes up like that?!!!
Oh gosh, me got new target!

SUCH A BITCH U HUA XIN NU HAI!
yea, go on scold me
I can't help it.
I even spotted a real HOT Suzaku in one of the videos!
(starts investigating...)
Oh DANG, DAMN!
If i'd went to CF, Ill definitely hug the cosplayer and take tons of photos!
(like i would dare to do that)

Therefore I wish
I SHALL WISH TO MEET THEM AT ANIMANGAKI NEXT YEAR!!!!!!!!
~MUAHAHAHAHAAAA!~

Had THE SHOCK OF MY LIFE

2011-12-16T22:51:00.002+08:00

As usual, I facebook-ed

and the first story on my home page

gave me shivers through my spines

which instantly made me scream.

A facebook friend whom I constantly stalk for daily happiness posted a photo,

more like SHARED another person's photo

NAKED PHOTO.

if it was a girl, I wouldn't even react, wouldn't even mind,

in fact i could even go " WOW nice waist, bad scar on where n so on."

but it WASNT

it was a naked photo

of a GUY

OH MY GOD,

seriously, dear god, WHAT ON EARTH IS THIS FELLOW THINKING?

was he sabotaj-ed perhaps?

I could even see THE THING

it's one thing to see it in manga/anime but another to see it in REAL LIFE.

THE THING wasnt eww, gross

the fact that he posted it made me all EWWWW GROSSS!!!!

ok THE THING KINDA FREAKED ME OUT TOO

A LOT

HELL LOT

I mean, ITS SO DIFFERENT FROM MA DOG'S THING

holy canoly,

out of impulse, i commented on the stalked one's post

n...

yea tat person replied!

LOL!!!

stalked so long I finally dare to comment on fb!

and got reply instantly too!

WTF IS WRONG WITH ME? THE WORLD?!

I guess that was the GAIN of that day.

Both were a shock to me.

one freaked me, one made me overjoyed.

haha, i guess im still a girl. YOUNG GIRL.

(u'll know why i stress this later)

2011-12-13T21:50:00.002+08:00

You make me wanna die'

Hell yea tats the impression I get when u look at me

u miserable piece of shit

i hate fighting with u

coz ure only end up remembering unnecessary things and bring them up again

and criticize every single detail in it

even fighting with her isnt tat bad

Dude get over it.

I dun get mad tat long so u dun hav to either

Anger really satisfy yourself perhaps?

sorry im not tat kind of person anymore

i can be bitchy but i aint bitch all day long

so look at me again

ill look back at u

n here you go

im not dying

but u look like rotten piece of living corpse so u should die instead.

leave me alone, let me be happy.

go live in yr Im-4EVA-UNHAPPY-LAND.

CHIBI!!!

2011-12-10T12:06:00.004+08:00

I have a thing for Chibi sss these days!

they're awfully cute and adorable that just makes you go AWWW~

Aikawa brothers and Shirahane brothers

Cool Saber

Lucky Dogs! escaping from prison...

Gian with bubba gump~

Bernado feeling dizzy reading newspaper~=_=

`ma' personal favourite!`

~❤SHIRAHANE NANAO❤~

2011-12-09T23:27:00.005+08:00

~❤SHIRAHANE NANAO❤~

awesome-awesomely-awesomefully

UNDENIABLY ---> hot-sexy-intriguing-attractive-seductive!!!

BI SHOU NEN

OH. MY. GOD.

How could you create such dangerously seductive creature in the minds of humans????

I THANK YOU FOR THAT

epic descriptions

" gives ppl the impression that he is overly loose"

" body gives off an erotic feeling"

" sometimes those eyes contain sense of loneliness no one can understand"

KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~~~~~~

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

U've made my day,

Mr. I -can -seduce- any -one -n- any -being.

If I were a guy, I'll surely be someone like u.

awfully Sanguine on the outside but ... (mention also will blush)

sorry folks, it's smth only mama can understand.

gotta have more sugar for now.

YEA BABE~

2011-12-09T23:27:00.001+08:00

~~~~~NO MOAR SUGAR~~~~

The more....

2011-12-09T22:12:00.002+08:00

The more I stay at home,

the more I feel like I should have been born a male.

I feel disempowered everyday.

Things i can't carry

Heights I can't reach

Places I can't go alone

People I can't approach

People I can't protect

Fitness I can't attain

But I would still be the same person in many ways

Irrational

Compulsive

Reckless

Hot tempered

Superficial

and etc.

aish...frustrating.

I should facebook and stalk ppl to forget.

2011-12-05T22:09:00.002+08:00

I've taken enough SHIT from you.

Mother Fucker,

I don't want your shit approval or faith anymore.

you don't even respect me for who I am and the decisions I make.

You get paranoid over everything.

as if I can never do anything right.

Sometimes I feel that you're only making me miserable

so that you'll be happy

because its the only way this relationship will work.

You can go on deny

I wont stop believeing you're a sick possessive bastard.

Ive never have a life of my own.

i ve had it when you're not around.

If only u were just a hallucination.

I would kill you and sleep away.

I hate praying for you to change

I hate it more when you change for the worst.

I lost my faith with you

I gained it back without you.

are you the devil of my life?

my explanations never work

they're all excuses to you

you pretend to accept it

but the next day i hear endless torments of verbal abuses from you

Fuck you

Fuck your life

n Fuck your mother n whoever that have made you this miserable

For you have infected me with your pain

that hurts like a thorn in my heart

which Im unable to rip it off completely,

You have made me miserable.

and I know I don't want to be..so..anymore.

So... please change for your own good.

im really exhausted everyday by your negativeness

it wears me out.

it wears the fucking hell out of me.

you selfish bitch.

random fangirling.

2011-12-03T12:19:00.002+08:00

Nanao-san~~~

OMG.

nothing else matters anymore.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

2011-11-03T19:23:00.002+08:00

I FLUNKED.

I freaking saw the time wrongly 450 saw tiok 550.

How miserable can i be?

I didn't finish the essay

Im so gonna fail

screw up the exam.

FUCK MY LIFE.

I really can go die now lor....

Can someone plz kill me?

never before I do smth this stupid.

NEVER.

Failure at the wrong time.

FUCK YOU JK ROWLING

U CURSED ME

now I know why churches say you're Satanic.

Go fuck yourself. Mother Fucker Asshole.

I never want to see you in any of my exam [papers ANYMORE.

FUCK YOU .,

Bishounen. Where to find in real world?

2011-10-27T16:31:00.002+08:00

Lesson learnt yesterday.

There's no such thing as Bishounen in reality.

There's only cosplayers who make it all seem so real just when you go

"AWWW HE'S SO HOT & PERFECT, RIGHT OUT FROM THE TV SCREEN!"

Ull realise it's a girl who's Cross-playing.

Damn disappointed.

but hey, Fact of Life right?

If there really were Bishounen all around the world,

All girls would be dumb and fall for ppl with looks,

discriminate ugly babies and keep the good looking ones

and the world gets all celebrity-ISH everyday.

You can't find Bishounen in real world.

U can only find in anime or manga

Shoujo has most of it so does arhem... u know.

Shounen rarely has it but man, Katekyo Hitman Reborn sure has tons of hotties!

Games with great CG effects like Final Fantasy or DMC n etc has TONS TOO!

Speaking of which,

I kinda want to remind myself how fangirl-ish i was back then and how it all came.

Once upon a time,

swtiches on Astro

reaches a mysterious channel, AXN

and there was no turning back.

Good old shoujo animes like Fushigi Yuugi and Ayashino Ceres were my very first exposure.

Then came more n more n more

Vampire Knight, Trinity Blood, La Corda Doro

nowadays there's Starry Sky and Hakuoki but I found both BORING.

So I ended up at Dogs Bullets and Carnage, Durarara and Code Geass.

Yea Anime these days suck so I guess Bishounen production face a slowdown.;p

It's all about...

2011-10-25T09:32:00.003+08:00

Few days ago,

felt so emo, so depressed,

no mood to do anything that requires my brain to work

nor do I want to meet the outside world

it's like my socializing span has reached its maximum,

to the extent that I feel sick when I think of needing to go out or hang out

at some event, meeting or fellowship.

I WANTED TO BE ALONE.

I needed time to be alone

to think for myself

to spoil myself

to focus on myself

and to feel God's presence.

But I just couldn't

no matter how hard I tried.

Let me tell you what I know about myself

I was born introvert

learnt how to adapt, blend in and therefore got quite extrovert.

But Extrovert is not part of my original trait.

it's smth the environment taught me.

My biological personality/identity would be the introvert one.

the one tat preferred places with least ppl

company of few best people who knew me well

and had time to please/entertain/care for myself and few ppl only.

So when i meet too much ppl for too long period of time,

I would often find myself exhausted by taking note of wat to say,

how to act, behave, please, drop in humour, self-control in front of PEOPLE.

It grew taxing of me that I skipped all meetings, anime and church,

to avoid ppl.

Desperately, I cried to sleep one night,

thinking I cannot bear this sense of apathy while the same time, cannot bear the sense of fear towards public.

I plead to God, "Why does it felt like you have abandoned me?"

"Why does it feel like every time I give, I feel happiness, but now I have gave too much, I only feel stupid, ridiculous and MISERABLE?"

"Why are you not giving me anything?"

"Talk to me."

"The love I need now is not the the love I would ask from a person, God im sure you understand what I mean..."

The next day at church,

despite feeling nausea in the car,

God spoke to me during praise and worship.

HE KNEW I FOCUS BEST WHEN I SING.

He showed me my times of misery,

big ones, small one.

from an angle above me.

as if an angel was looking over me.

God was always with me.

but "why? why? I didn't notice?" I thought.

The next second I knew,

A friend who brings joy pat my shoulder and said:

"God wants you to know that you have to clear whatever that's in your mind right now, RIGHT NOW, He says you find it hard to feel him because you think too much, get distracted by other thoughts easily.Focus on him, Focus on God."

I was amazed. LITERALLY

God is there for everyone.

but when we do not turn our eyes to him,

temptations, worries, and uncertainty clouds our faith towards him.

We can always plan our lives, but it is God who lay out the path of our lives.

Believing that God will take care of everything is the best assurance, security and peace a person can even find in life.

May God bless those who are his children, be it saints or hyprocrpyts, rich or poor, believers and non believers. Amen.

Not alone anymore

2011-09-13T15:08:00.002+08:00

Im not lonely anymore.

I don't feel like more friends are in Kuching than in KL

In fact, I feel the other way round.

but honestly,

after this year,

I might go a new place

meet new ppl and repeat this same thing again!

I dunno.

only God knows.

but I know deep down in my heart

there's someone, somewhere I hold close to

my family, my mom and my house.

It's a part of me where even if I forget about it for a second,

Ill remember it again

especially in my sad or unhappy moments.

It's where I go running for hugs, comforts, love, attention and security

I won't forget where I come from.

My experience taught me this,

not some random idioms I learnt in Chinese primary school.

God taught me this,

not some random teacher told me this,

I am happy.

To be loved and love.

This might be the best year of my life.

^_^

Breakthrough!

2011-09-12T22:20:00.001+08:00

Another Breakthrough!

God is good ALL THE TIME!

I feel like wanting to take up worship team or even worship leader in the church!

So nice to sing on stage

kind of like projecting my feelings

in a more direct way.

One day I MUST DO SO!

I did once for anime, I can do more for God!

2011-09-12T10:48:00.000+08:00

God is good all the time

All the time God is good

Dont' blame me

2011-09-08T17:52:00.003+08:00

There's aint nothing to blame me

when Ive seen you running around hurting ppl

and hurted me too

Im only being protective towards myself

What's wrong about that?

Learn from experience justifies my actions

I can never trust you that much ever.

Im going to be an adult soon.

Im going to remember forever what type of person I should trust a lot

and what type I shouldn't trust that much.

I don't want to invite unnecessary troubles in my life.

Please respect that.

I value relationships.

that's why i always put myself behind others.

not to say im completely humble and not selfish at all

coz tat would be hypocritical

im just a naive, dumb person who wants to help whenever I can

but the thing is,

I know clearly since I dunno when

that

it is important i put myself ahead of others

and tat's why

based on my analysis of experiences,

I can't easily trust you.

Am i ever good enough?

2011-09-07T09:34:00.001+08:00

What do you want from me?

I'm really sick of it.

Sometimes I wished I could just not pray but curse you to death instead. you know, like old times. ISHHHH!

Only God knows...

Performance coming up...

2011-09-06T23:01:00.002+08:00

Shit...

oh anime fans would say "Yabai..."

coz this is really Yabai...

I've got 4 more days, no, i got 4 more nights till

Animangaki

and Im gonna perform "Amrita" by Yui Makino ON STAGE!!!

Im so nervous...

coz everytime after i sing this song, my throat get drier and harder to sing

it's a hard song after all,

and to sing it to perfection?

Thats like WAYYYYYY HARDER THAN EXAMS.

Im so stressed out by the fact that I wonder will I be well prepared till then...

It's so nerve-wrecking that I swear i could finish all chocolates and jelly beans right now,

if I had them.

Oh dear Lord, PLEASE help me!

and ppl,

I know I very perasan but still,

I trust that you will care n support me.

so pls DO!

Sometimes I wish I had

2011-09-05T23:14:00.002+08:00

I had a xomebody

and that I could do whatever to him.

Sounds like a servant,

a waitress?

a butler?

a gigolo?

a driver?

a boyfriend?

wait

I dun even know what the hell am i thinking right now.

I just wish that there's someone I could pick up the phone and say"hey kia tonight lets go kl!"

and he'd say "yea ill be there in 5 min"

EVERY TIME.

but sadly,

There's no such dumbass in the world whose willing to do that.

OBVIOUSLY

Guess Ill just have to buy one when I grow up, earning lots of money.

fORGIVE ME,

im a Libra

I value relationships n I love to make them richer.

TOo bad if ure not someone I know then.

Pimples and Bubbles

2011-09-04T02:33:00.002+08:00

Frankly speaking,

Im not ill right now

but i feel uncomfortable.

VERY UNCOMFORTABLE.

Few days ago,

i went jogging with my Korean Housemate, Doyang-shi

and I ended up running around like mad cow,

which was exhilarating. :)

Listening to her advice, though I hesitated, for unknown reasons,

(seriously I didn't know, OKAY i forgot why)

I wore my sport shoes.

KAY KAY ITS a FREAKING rm300+ CONVERSE FASHION SHOES.

The next day, which was yesterday,

there were two BUBBLES on my toes.

each on each side.

It was so freakin' painful n annoying tat i BURSTED THEM.

n SHIT

it BLED!!!!

L I T E R A L L Y

walao... TONG DAO!!!!!!

I really didn't know how to handle this

n due to unforeseen circumstances, I wasn't in the position to contact my mummy either

(I was mad n disappointed AT her)

so I applied some medication, which btw I had no idea whether it's Expired or Not.

then handiplast-ed it and look into the mirror.

Oh my Goodness,

FACIAL DISASTER.

since when did my face looked like the Moon?

SO uneven with erupting volcanoes?!

I told the pimple

"hey bastard, move to another planet coz u're just PLAIN DISGUSTING!"

n I poked it, threw it away, cleaned my face and wondered

HOW LONG ARE THESE PHYSICAL DISABILITIES ON MY SKIN GONNA STAY?!

GO AWAY YOU UNWANTED, UNWELCOMED, BLOOD-RELATED-TO-BACTERIA/VIRUS-COUSINS!

oh yea,

NOW I KNOW WHY I HATE WEARING SHOES

OR ANYTHING THAT COVERS MY LEG.

MY BIG, SLOPPY, DAMN FLAT FEET ARE NOT MEANT TO BE COVERED!

Temptation during my 14th day

2011-09-02T23:01:00.002+08:00

okay,

my Raya's over.

you can see how much Ive enjoyed from the pictures I've posted on facebook.

but the thing is,

these days,

are like the 14th day of my mestrual cycle,

the ovulation period, to be exact.

This is a female confession Im going to make.

The truth is,

during this period,

I get horny.

yes, go ahead and scream "Yea, you're such a perverted good-for-nothing biatch!"

Well guess what,

I am a human, moreover, a teenager

and hell yea, I'm a whole passionate teenager who checks on hot guys and their looks and their bodies like how guys check on us, gals all the time.

I may be at like, the end of my puberty but let me tell you one thing.

During these 14th daysss of every month,

I get SOOOO cheeky, naughty and dirty that Im so desperately wish I were a guy instead.

coz if I were, I would make a perfect stud for guys, n tat means Ill be the hottest gay guy any guy ever wanted.

O...K....

U think my logic is sick.

but IT IS after all, the perfect solution for being naughty, dirty and not getting pregnant or humiliated at all.

I mean, guys, what do you dudes have to lose?

Maybe Im being too gender bias here but seriously,

I dont believe that any decent living human being would not wanna die a virgin after being exposed to so many temptation around them.

I mean, Look Around You.

Look at your computer even.

You'll get what I mean.

I hope this crazy horny-ness will get over sooner.

it's killing me.

On a good side, it's kinda lucky im not a guy, or else, the desperateness would be WORST.

it might not be killing, but killing me from the inside instead.

Guess I still like being a girl after all.

Kelantan=MISSION IMPOSSIBLE? Your ass lar!

2011-08-28T18:18:00.005+08:00

~OH MY GOODNESS~

im SO going to Kelantan tomorrow morning, arriving at evening.

It was kinda crazy, scary and such a surprise that we agreed on this plan

I kinda feel bad for Dianne, to reject her invitation even though i agreed first, then reject, then agree then put on hold then reject.

Seriously, Im such an inconsiderate bastard.

But I did explain to her that it was too sudden and apologize.

Ill make up for her once Im back!

Who's the crazy gal who's good at entertaining?

After all I AM!

Anyway,

on that very fateful morning.

SHIT , it's THIS MORNING.

okay... Time lapse after wacthing too much of House MD.

THIS MORNING

I set my alarm at 730 but somehow i woke up at 921!

WTH?

Im such a pig sleeping person...

I set out my journey

ALONE

my point is,

ALONE

on Taxi to Kalana Jaya LRT station,

then take the ride to Masjid Jamek station and switch to another line.

Now tat's when things got confusing

Luckily I asked a girl, random girl

and I was told that I need to cross the road

OR ELSE,

Ill be riding back to where I came from.

Stupid enough?

I crossed the road, while mumbling on my stupidity, and of coz, praising how lucky i am,

more like how God protected me despite all the shit tats going on!

PRAISE THE LORD!

Here's the thing:

KL drivers=BLIND TOWARDS HUMAN CROOSSING THE DAMN ROAD

THEY ARE BLIND

even if u stop in the middle of the road, they think u're not there

even if u walk across,

they expect u to RUn RUN RUN unless u wanna get hit by a car

SELFISH ENOUGH? MORONS...... just because u're in a car, doesnt mean tat u can be blind.

even blind ppl are more alert than u are!

U bet I wanna sing Run Devil Run in your face! losers! ANNN!

Once I reach the PWTC station,

I had to find Hentian Putra.

I asked for directions.

coz I couldn't bare another mistake,

which i ALMSOT made back then.

And again, ppl are KIND.

ppl who Walk ARE KIND, ppl who drive are SELF-CENTERED

tats the thing i learnt while "traveling" in KL alone today.

I found it!

bought it!

called her!

had my dad booked my flight ticket back! and

HOORAY!

HALLEJUJAH!

KELANTAN, here I COME!

Im so SO SO anticipating the view, the food, the ppl, the malay dialect

a whole new culture that I've never experience before!

Im so SHIOK NOW!

Plus,

time with Eleena before she goes to Czech...

God, I wanna praise u for pretecting me all day.

I really love you.

Let me love u as much as u love me through my life and even afterlife.

Till then,

Selamat Hari Raya people!

Care and Not care

2011-08-26T00:41:00.002+08:00

I always act like I care about some guy

I always go "Ohhh.... I like tat guy!"

Im talking about average guys here

not idols, kay?

but in the end,

I dun feel a thing

it seems like its been so SO SO LONG since I've really went ba dump ba dump for a guy

Im so numb

is this becoz im more matured?

better at understanding my feelings?

(which arent genuine and long lasting AT ALL towards someone I BARELY even know?)

Better at self control?

Well I wanna tell you smth

EVERYONE OF U

I may not seem like CARE for MOST of the time,

i mean , i do, act like SO OH MI GOSH

which means (couldn't care less!)

BUT

BUT

Let me tell u one thing

I DO CARE ABOUT THIS LOVE THING

I REALLY DO

I always feel that

I should keep my genuine feelings for SOMEONE

someone that is MEANT for me

and I BELIEVE that

One day I'll meet him for sure

and my heart really goes Thadump Tud Tud and all whenever I see him,

hear his voice

or smell his scent

but right now,

Im just a regular girl

who randomly check out hot guys

acting like an idiot for the sake of fun

and waiting, anticipating, hoping for the moment to come

when i can meet that someone

I have never knew.

In the back of my mind,

He Exists.

I cannot predict, nor can I describe

perhaps tats y I cannot draw guys.

because Im afraid...of what im capable of... analyzing.

Only God knows.

I believe in Real Love,

Love that is experience so intense u cannot forget nor hate,

but may or may not result in being together forever.

How about u?

Theory of Xia Soi

2011-08-24T21:53:00.002+08:00

Right after exam,

I dragged ah lian to sing K

I insisted by reminding what she told me few days ago

(didn't know it would induce guilt)

even though she had exams...

oh, so sweet.

Thx a lot!

It started really awkward...

Dunno what song to choose

dunno what song to sing

but it went alright,

with a few Japanese and Korean songs without romanji lyrics

Chinese songs also got,

English songs also got.

Then I tried to entertain her by singing "I dun wanna miss a thing" and "Firework"

which basically just SCREAM

I thought I was gonna kill my throat back then

but it had a reverse effect

I felt BETTER!

I could even sing Pyramid with ease!!!

Oh my goodness,

is THAT even normal?

and I found out that lilian has proposed her very own theory :

"I must be with people who act more xia soi than me, then I dare to xia soi."

Then I was like, "It's a dark room, door closed, how xia soi can it be?"

and she goes " if wan xia soi, then everyone must be equal mar...must sing like mad together"

She got the last part right alright.

but the equal part... I dun think Ill ever find someone who sings as mad as me other than

Maxdy?

LOL

Anyway, Im not a good singer

but Im a good entertainer

Do find me to teman you as K partner people!

What comes around, really goes around.

2011-08-20T00:03:00.002+08:00

I know a girl

who likes to badmouth ppl for no apparent reason

be it you're fat, old, hunch back, blur or cute or even pretty.

She just wants to say bad things about you

this kind of person is Negative

absolutely gives the kind of vibe that makes you wanna avoid her

but today

as I hear my friends chatting about her and her boyfriend,

I felt "that's kind of bad"

it started off with a normal everyday college gossip in the library :

my fren went=

"Hey you know tat recent couple?"

-I know duh!-

"I dunn kno bout tat gal but I heard she looks like an old aunty

and when I saw her, the description fits exaclty, PERFECTLY!"

(giggles)

I smiled, reluctantly but yes I did laugh a few ha, haha, hahaha, ha ,ha

guess what?

ITS NOT FUNNY

Karma's a bitch.

so be careful

I have to learn to be careful

and my point is,

we all should.

to avoid this kind of

inevitable

"revenge"

Study

2011-08-17T11:23:00.000+08:00

I HATE TO STUDY

Lone and Trust

2011-08-16T21:19:00.002+08:00

I grew up in a Dysfunctional Family

I only realize that this was the perfect way to describe my family a few days ago.

and to describe some eccentric thoughts and actions of mine

I looked back to the past

and I felt so stupid

all the mistakes I have done

covered by another layer of mistakes

and another layer

when it finally unravels to me

that its all due to my stupidity and ignorance

Its funny how its easy to say

Its ok

as long as I overcome it

I can be stronger

I did

but It's still in my mind

All the bad things Ive done

they're not as evil as murdering

but certainly as terrifying as that

because it hurts

it hurts other ppl

I know I can also blame it on my innocence

blame it on how naive I handle things

and emotions

but in the end,

"nothing matters

its just an excuse"

nothing matters since all that happened

can only serve as a reminder

a fragment of memory

of how foolish I was

Nothing matters either

If I go explaining stuffs and apologizing

it wont help

ppl might not remember

ppl might not care

ppl might not even want to hear it

ONLY GOD KNOWS.

I repent

I hope I can

I love myself more

and I will love others more.

here's smth for someone:

"You're not my mother

and you'll never be

what was I thinking

thinking that you'll care

care so much that you wont say those

hurtful words behind me

but you did anyway

like any other ppl i dun trust

and I can't forgive you for what you've done

coz you're not my mom

You are not my mother

not someone who's been through all with me

you're just someone I met in the middle of my life

when I was so vulnerable

I gave you my trust

and now I know it's wrong

so I put my trust in God

right now

thinking

if only

I could

forgive you

with God's love"

and I ponder

what if

they're tons of screwed up sick child like me out there?

what would become of them?

I was once lost so I want to reach out for these ppl too

I think

I want to help people

I want to help people to regain love and trust

I want to prevent murders, suicide and torture

coz all these sinful thoughts come from our mind

Psychology

let me master you.

Dear Lord

2011-08-11T23:44:00.002+08:00

Dear my Lord,

I believe,

nothing is impossible with you.

What'll happen in the future,

is all up to you.

I am a hypocrpyt.

living everyday with lies.

willingly yet unwillingly

a way of life yet a fact of life.

I am in despair

that which does not manifest intensely,

but I do hope

that you will appear before me

and let me embrace your light

so may my fears be cast away.

i do not want to doubt my confidence

nor do i want to lost my faith in your miracles

I want to put trust in you

I want to have faith in you

Please,

somehow

save me from my fears

Yukina Kou 雪名皇

2011-07-26T21:31:00.002+08:00

Those hazel eyes... Ash brown hair...dazzling smile

that could light up the whole town...

not to forget, sexy body!

OH MY GOSH,

Im in LOVE with Yukina!!!!

Even though he goes "Im in love with Kisa-san!"

U know wat i like about him?

He's 21

an art student!

How BETTER can it get?!

He's freaking romantic

He's freaking awesome

He's awesomely HOT

and I really think that

What the FUA he's SO HOT I wish he'd be my boyfriend in REAL LIFE!'

HERE COMES TROUBLE

2011-07-18T19:11:00.002+08:00

Trouble in the house.

I knew it.

I should've NOT return.

Dear blog,

if only I could enter a realm of fantasy

and disappear from this world

while all this chaos is happening,

How Good Will it Be?

Irony of C-pop

2011-07-18T18:30:00.003+08:00

If you look at Hey Say! JUMP's performance and compare it with SHINEE's, you'll definitely see how proffesional and hardworking Korean artists are.

The same goes for f(x) or SNSD vs AKB48.

Kinda disappointed...coz i loved J-pop first, then K-pop.

but of course, J-ROCK still rocks ten times better than K-Rock.

I was watching VMAJ 2011 this whole day.

and the idea that we, Chinese pop group are STILL so stagnant!

not international enough!

not popular enough!

not versatile and special enough!

striked me.

This is so SO SO MAJOR DISASTER.

No matter how hard Japanese and Korean deny their origin from China,

We, Chinese are the pioneer in terms of culture, language, and food compared to these two little brother and sister and tons of natives such as Mongolians.

and yet, our music, has FAILED MISERABLY to them.

What kind of joke it this?

I really hope that Chinese can put up a fight.

buy better camera,

higher better choreographer,

find better composer

and scout awesome talents.

There's Chinese everywhere!

EVERY SINGLE CORNER AROUND THE WORLD!!!

Worstill,

some Chinese are used magnificently, efficently and appreciated greatly, by Koreans.

How sad is this....

I really dun wan China to be popular with only eating all sorts of food

historical places

and crime.

I want it to be famous for music too!

pop music

modern musics!

and those bloody Taiwanese,

always trying to imitate cute Japanese girls and Beautiful Korean guys,

how UN-creative is that???

i really hope that they can break out of their comfort zone and use their human resources WISELY

not singing melancholic, lame, monotonous, easily-predictable ALL THE TIME.

U want sing these kind of song? CAN

but SING it GOOD,

like Hebe, Yang Zhong Wei, or etc.

dun just let any Tom Dick and Harry to sing the same kind of song.

AGAIN N AGAIN N AGAIN!!!!!

U IDIOTS!!!

Love?

2011-07-18T15:22:00.002+08:00

Watching too much of Shungiku Nakamura's creation makes me feel that the love depicted in her stories are considered realistic.

If you consider and compare it the rest of the same genre or shoujo related, Shungiku's is really more like what happens in real world.

minus a few parts here n there.

The opening song...makes me wanna fall in love so badly.

What the hell is wrong with me these days?

Her works gave me a great laugh and i think immune system to certain elements too.

Is it good or bad I wonder.

Life Group

2011-07-14T00:30:00.002+08:00

It's always nice to gather with a small group of people

and share our lives

about how God touch our hearts

and healed our illnes and so much more.

Today I learnt about Commitment

About Word of God is the basics of all

and that it helps to build our character.

About Work of God is what Jesus did, as a humble servant,

and that it helps to receive calling from God.

Feeling unwell;

2011-07-13T17:13:00.002+08:00

Genki ja-nai!

I feel like shit srsly

These days, fatigue, sudden cold shivers and i dunno wat else

is just draining my body's very energy,

I think it's PMS or flu

dunno yet.

Oh well, God Bless Me.

tomorrow i must feel well!

Amen!

Money

2011-07-12T19:21:00.002+08:00

Money is the root of all....

The desire for money is the root of all Evil.

However, if you think of money,

u think of your future.

U'll think that money can buy you easy life, happiness and etc.

It is foolish to think so and yet it's human nature to get attracted to material possessions.

It is even more foolish when people fight over money

and the worst is when family is fighthing for money.

I say this because I care.

For someone near me and someone who is related to me.

I only realized my consequences of not taking jpa for tertiary studies yesterday,

that i might cause someone to lose his future.

I only realised what im doing right now is complete selfish.

but...BUT

at the same time

I know I shouldn't accept situations and not fighting for my own future.

It is hard... to decide...

How I wish life could be easier at times like this.

Poof! "Here you go , jpa now rewards you your most wanted dreams!"

like tat'll ever happen....

Although my case is not as severe as my friend,

It's still a very tough decision to make.

He knows I'll easily give up on it and let him have it.

He also knows I'll regret for maybe...the rest of my life?

and yes, I know the same thing.

Life, Here comes another ordeal I have to overcome.

i pray that me, my friend and our family will be able to face this utter madness in life,

when both of our family SEEMS well off, yet insufficient for the future.

I believe my life is safe in God's hands.

Even if I were to do pre-u all over again,

with the governments aid,

I will,

Im willing.

I rather die of sadness than die of money.

Experience

2011-07-10T19:35:00.002+08:00

I experienced God today in my prayer.

It was something I feared

he told me I had no need to fear it anymore

for he can take away the fear from me

thats why I don't have to feel guilty anymore

I can stop condemning myself

and start forgiving myself

Just like Jesus,

he took away everything that made me feel so uneasy this week

I feel so relieve after all this while

trying to run away from my problem,

MYSELF.

and that caused me to distance from God too,

I believe I am to overcome this for a reason

to strengthen my Faith

and to help those who are in need like how i was.

I am a humble servant,

in your name God,

there's no ego in my heart.

All I want is you Lord.

Burst Angel

2011-07-09T22:07:00.003+08:00

If i have watched this when I was young.

I would have said that THIS was the BEST ANIME ever~~~~~!!!!

way better than Ayashino Ceres and even Fushigi Yuugi.

It's simply awesome!

Jo, the white haired UNBEATABLE heroine

Meg, the Damsel in Distress

Amy, the brains of the team

Sei, the voluptuous Chinese leader

These four gorgeous and freaking cool ladies are gonna blow your mind away!

Other than the fan services, it is, a really good anime I would recommend both gender to watch.

Prayer

2011-07-09T21:57:00.002+08:00

It has gotten better.

My prayer that is...

It's truly amazing how god's grace can change you when you decide to accept God

I made a decision to pray each night before i sleep

and it worked!

It was easier for me to pray as I felt today at the church service.

There's still more to go till I become a Christian inside out.

I know what I want to do now.

I want to let the whole world now,

through the best anime ever created

of God's glory

I want to present my story/imagination

in a neutral manner

to let the viewers decide

their Faith in God.

In the future,

this is definitely what i'll do.

Dear Lord,

this is my prayer.

I hope that one day I can materialise what I have in mind,

the anime that i've been drawing and coloring in my mind.

In the Name of Jesus I pray,

AMEN.

Dear Evil,

this is my confession,

I am a sinner who has succumbed to you for quite a long time,

I have cursed so much and so long that I can't even keep track of it

but you know what?

This might be the last time I swear

coz Im saying "FUCK YOU"

in your face.

From now on, Im gonna pray.

i mean, praying more and longer and more intense than what I've been swearing and cursing all these times.

I understand the power of mind, the power of will and your "ability" to alter these powers of human.

but I also understand the power of God, the greatness of his love, and the endlessness of his light.

So i've gotta say,

"get a life"

coz I got mine, and it's blessed in God's hands, safe in his embrace and bright in his way.

Empty

2011-07-04T22:25:00.003+08:00

Hate that this feeling came back,

it returned

after all those months

and now, Im here typing this shit

Let me tell you what.

This is a side effect of watching anime

It draws you into another world

a world of escapism

in which alter your sense of reality

bits by bits.

DON'T DENY IT.

It makes you wander off

somewhere in your mind

to somewhere else that doesn't exist in the world

yet seems like it does

feels like it does.

Im addicted to it

just like those freaking smokers outside the streets

which I have a habit to condemn of

because they lack self-control

and succumbed to this addiction

just like I do

I guess, im no better than them.

Ive resolved to keep myself in control

and yet now?

I guess I really have to try it out

try indulging myself into that imaginary world of mine

to find out what is it that i feel i lack of?

but clearly, obviously

the present is the most important moment in my life

this post will serve as a reminder

to me

that what i will achieve in the future

is to fulfill the needs of reality first,

that is getting a degree

then working to earn more so that i can invest into my fetish of mine-ANIME

and of course,

learning more about manga drawing, anime producing and stuffs.

Ahhh~~~~ how long can i wait till I get my hands onto creating anime, unleashing my wild thoughts.

Beast Concert

2011-07-03T10:41:00.003+08:00

I didn't buy the ticket

I wasn't even SO into it.

but when i gazed out through the window at KFC

seeing the staffs preparing the concert settings,

I couldn't help but to at least hear their voice on that Friday Night.

and so I teman-ed Tzer Chyn to HUNT DOWN Beast.

At first we tried the place outside Tarbush and Garden

and we settled there.

We had no choice but to order smth to sit there.

Koreans are PUNCTUAL

Mark my Words.

830 SHARP

they appear!

with the fans screaming and shrieking like gone mad,

She watched through her binoculars

and tears came rolling down...

joy flowing like a mighty stream.

and I was SHOCKED.

I've never seen her cry before!!!

She is hyperactively Happy n Jolly all the time.

and this time she's MOVED TO TEARS.

and somehow still manages to sing along and do the fangirl scream once in a while

It was exhausting...

Running from one side of Sunway to the other side.

yet i felt i did what i do best that day

Be a friend.

Kuching in KL? Nonono, tats so wrong.

2011-06-28T20:20:00.002+08:00

After having a dose of Lucas Till and his sexy voice in the library,

I led Abigail and Lilian to some eatery near One Academy.

I didn't want them to thought I was lying or exaggerating

so I told them it could be more or less 30 min.

I DID MENTION the WHOLE journey.

Who knew they interpreted it as the distance from Pyramid exit till the destination,

which is even less than 5 minutes.

Nevertheless, we fulfilled our purpose

To eat SARAWAK LAKSA.

We also debated over the usage of Carrotcake as an English name for Cha Kueh,

even though it has nothing "carrot" about it

We ate and we order again and we ate.

Lesson of the day : Dont order Yokomon's ice-cream. Not Nice..

Good Story, Stupid Female Lead, Unnecessary Excessive Love, A Good but Bad Manga

2011-06-28T00:22:00.003+08:00

Black Bird

a manga about a bla bla bla...

The genre is Shoujo.

so it's quite obvious what you're expecting to see

The guy saves the girl and dunno how many dramas more to come!

Anyway, my point is,

it's a really good story,

IF and only IF

u minus the FOREVER HELPLESS girl part

and the sickness of certain parts.

Ok i lied.

My real point is im so attracted by the male lead : Kyou

aha..haha...im in trance right now.

Monday Blues

2011-06-27T17:39:00.002+08:00

白痴！

星期一真是没心情 SHIOK.

feeling so lifeless

just wanna waste every second of my life.

Ended up late for maths class

Too early for chemistry class

coz i watched X-Men 2 at the library.

btw, the sofa at library STINKS!

stinks of the MAN-LY SMELL...

And it is now that i only know

tomorrow have lab assessment.

LAB ASSESSMENT?

Oh NO, I TOTALLY HAD NO IDEA !!!

Im a blur case during monduay.

Pls forgive me ppl.

but I still got 成就感

coz I downloaded TONS of songs!!!

whilst in the middle of running to the toilet,

my hand accidentally touched my lecturer's hand.

and it felt... M-A-L-I-C-I-O-U-S

Dear God, I hope he will not hate me for this.

Ayashi No Ceres

2011-06-26T12:51:00.002+08:00

This morning i woke up

and i had my breakfast=COMPUTER

yesh, my breakfast=ONLINE

How No Life is that?

but I discovered

something I long loved when I was young

I read the manga and watch parts of the anime at the same time.

Only to search for that scene...

MUAHAHAHAHA

I found it!

I enjoyed every minutes of it!

Aya goes "and how is you being my enemy is destiny?" while holding his hand, shivering.

and few minutes later Touya goes putting his arms around her neck.

LOL Oh My Gosh!

Kyaa~~~!!!!

(Fangirl mode comes back again!)

Touya + Aya = Greatest Love Story

Even WAYYYY better than the stupid Titanic.

HAHAHAhaha

ok im nuts.

Sunway Life

2011-06-26T10:43:00.002+08:00

Since Eleena left,

I seldom go to Pyramid.

Not that I dont', I do, just not as frequent as before

but I think it's alright.

This way I can refrain from spending, which is smth i like. but i shouldn't at the same time.

There's less one friend to bitch with,

less one friend to get wild with,

less one friend to laugh with.

As long as we don't forget each other,

Im sure the memories had together will make 10 years later go like :

" OMG, What U're Doing Here?! I MISS YOU!!!"

"How have u been doing?"

How AWESOME is that?

The same goes for you, Maongians (5sc1s and etc.)

Im sure we can laugh about the silly things we did in high school

and so many more...

As for now,

I'll just enjoy every single friend I have with me, near me now.

Tzer Chyn is someone to shiok like mad with,

with her, I think I can indulge into the endless joy of imagination, unrealistic and illogicalness.

While with Zhi Chin, I feel we can support each other's emo needs,

motivates me to study hard together with her,

oh yea, i forgot, we can eat like WHO KNOWS HOW MUCH when both of us gone crazy.

With her, it's QUANTITY-BOTTOMLESS.

3 of us? LAUGH LIKE THERE'S NO EVEVIEVIL IN THE WORLD!!!

Not to forget to mention,

Abigail and Lilian.

Who's always there when I need them.

Since they're both at hostel

and so far the oldest fren i have around me.

So yea, we have some Sisterhood going around here.

Envy enough? Kuching-ppl-who-come-to-KL-to-study?

(Come find us lar)

I don't have my family near me while Im studying.

SO Im here to confess

that I desperately, DESPO-ly need frenz, true frens I mean.

Kuching ppl, better FIND ME FAST!

KL ppl, better DONT LEAVE ME SOON!

Slept Late Again...

2011-06-25T12:11:00.002+08:00

Stupid.

I slept so late last night.

Must be due to the coffee

and maybe some imba hormone in my body.

Later 2.30 I'll have to face my dentist,

who's gonna drill my teeth and who knows what she'll do to it.

All i can hope for is that

I won't cry (again) before anything started T_T

This week has been wonderful

I managed to finish my Research Investigation Report on Mate Selection Preferences

and hand it in to my Psychology Lecturer

who has really good mood these days

For English, we studied speeches

which was very interesting

coz we got to analyse Martin Luther King's speech, Kevin Rudd's speech, Aung San Syu Ki's essay and etc.

My lecturer told us the discovery of magical number 3 in all speeches

To examplify, the Gettysburg speech, one of the most famous one in the world,

"The Government of the ppl, by the ppl and for the ppl."

and there's so much more for us to name!

Wednesday, as usual,

is my PROCRASTINATION OF LIFE DAY

Ill waste my time in the most unproductive possible way

in the anime club.

Talking crap, Simply using japanese words, watching anime and making sucky comments

with ppl from different programmes.

After that, we had our dinner and my senior challenged me to Song-guessing.

I got most of it right, and most of it just WHEN the song begins.

Somehow, i was deemed as show-off, clever or crazy by my senior.

LOL

but one thing i could never get right,

Avril Lavgine's Song.

dang, I dun know a thing about her and i sucked at it.

The best thing of all, i got to listen to all those old anime songs,

which gave me a great nostalgic feeling

to download them again.

AND I DID IT THE NEXT DAY!

Now i feel great.

Thanks to this awesome week,

and thanks to God,

for enlightening me more with these happenings,

and what happened last night.

Because after what happened last night,

after that talk with her,

I prayed alone, with so much emotions I long lost, to God.

Life is never easy, when you succumbed to your own sufferings;

but it is never hard, when you have faith in God.

Let's put this endless cycle of weeping and frustrating to an end.

I thought.

Times, New, Me.

2011-06-24T16:31:00.002+08:00

I think this part of my life is something that is in the past.

I don't read it again because I can remember what i wrote, mostly

and I have to admit that this blog of mine,

is like a pit of shame, cowardly curses and complaints about myself n ppl around me

Worst still, it's full of melancholy posts, meaningless tantrums and unhappy memories.

I want to change, i remember posting something like this before.

And Im changing.

the me today, is not the one who

is reluctant to wake up and skip classes

is ungrateful of the food i have in Kuching

is so insecure as if every single moment without a bad mouth would devour my "confidence"

The time for me to wallow in despair is over.

I've wasted too many time being unproductive,

not noticing beautiful things around me,

small actions of love

and God's embrace.

This will be my last post as someone who constantly run away from myself, the world and God.

Kryx

Human has limits, We can only break them with GOD.

random thoughts- CNY day 2

First day of Chinese New Year

When you are angry, do not sin

Steins ; Gate

Yakitate!! Japan

The danger of having nothing to do

The Girl and the Scumbag

Extra thoughts

Big Lenses, Small Eyes?

Weight

ABC

Work WORK Work, Clean CLEAN Clean.

My Newfound Hobby!

control and relationships

If Beauty is a Sin, then 花心也无罪！

Had THE SHOCK OF MY LIFE

CHIBI!!!

~❤SHIRAHANE NANAO❤~

The more....

random fangirling.

Bishounen. Where to find in real world?

It's all about...

Not alone anymore

Breakthrough!

Dont' blame me

Am i ever good enough?

Performance coming up...

Sometimes I wish I had

Pimples and Bubbles

Temptation during my 14th day

Kelantan=MISSION IMPOSSIBLE? Your ass lar!

Care and Not care

Theory of Xia Soi

What comes around, really goes around.

Study

Lone and Trust

Dear Lord

Yukina Kou 雪名 皇

HERE COMES TROUBLE

Irony of C-pop

Love?

Life Group

Feeling unwell;

Money

Experience

Burst Angel

Prayer

Empty

Beast Concert

Kuching in KL? Nonono, tats so wrong.

Good Story, Stupid Female Lead, Unnecessary Excessive Love, A Good but Bad Manga

Monday Blues

Ayashi No Ceres

Sunway Life

Slept Late Again...

Times, New, Me.

Yukina Kou 雪名皇